Son has been looking wild eyed at the end of his second grade day. He has listened, he sat still, and by God if he doesn't get to run and scream he'll start twitching. But please feed him intravenously while he does this because he is STARVING too. But he also needs downtime, time to shut out everyone and zone. And he needs all these things at the same time.
Daughter walks out of school jacked up with excitement. Can I look at her art project? Do I want to hear what she did in school today? Can she have a playdate with a new friend? She is dying of thirst and STARVING too. She is pumped and thrilled with kindergarten and has a million things to tell me right away and inaconstantstreamoftalkingthatdoesnoteverend.
So I pick my two kids up from school and as they run towards me I can feel myself bracing for it. The explosion that is these two wonderful, maxed out kids with immediate needs for food, attention and questions coming straight towards me.
Today I'm gonna be ready. I've got a bag of snacks packed so I can yell "Go Long" and toss them a granola bar or bloody hunk of meat as they barrel towards the school playground. I've got a stack of comics in the car so they can veg out as we drive home. And we've created a new game called Stopwatch. Where you have to stop talking (and breathe) when your time is up so the other person can tell us about their day too.
I think this will work. I will be ready when that bell rings. But if not, do they make child safe tranquilizer guns?