Sleep Porn

I started getting up early to drive my son to school some time ago. It's my attempt to be a grown up and smell like soap and perfume by 9 AM. (In lieu of my usual scent of morning breath and middle age) And it's alright I suppose, this being productive in the morning routine. But man does getting up early make me cherish the times when I do get to linger in slumber. I run my fingers along a set of soft flannel sheets like it's lingerie. I fantasize about sleep like it's porn.

Cue porn music...
You get up around 4:40 AM with an urgent need to pee. You empty your bust'n bladder, wash your hands with that yummy lavender soap and stumble back without slamming your hipbone into the footpost of your bed. Slide yourself back into that cozy still warm spot you made, then realize everyone in the house is still sleeping, you don't have to pee and you've got at least an hour and half before you have to wake up. Awww, yeah.
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Your husband gets up early to take the kids somewhere leaving you to sleep. They'll be gone for hours and hours. This is better than when the kids sleep over at Grandma's house. Because husband isn't going to be waking you up early to ask "Do you wanna go work out? What are we gonna do today? Did you pay Citibank? Wanna do it now? How 'bout now? Can you make pancakes?" and harshing your doze. It's just you baby. You and your sweet, sweet dreams of Don Draper. Mmmmm, darl'n.
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You're hungover from a good night out with friends, but just slightly. Enough to justify staying in your flannel pj pants and stretching out onto the couch. Lay back with your head on that lovely buckwheat pillow you bought from Etsy. It smells good doesn't it? Your muscles are slightly achy and the firm couch feels just right. Stare out the window at the tops of the trees that are moving in the wind, let out that breath you inhaled mid week out of stress and never let go of. Drift off listening to the quiet house. That's the spot, sugar.
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A few glasses of wine, a little snuggling on the couch turned into something more. Then you get to move to bed for the night and curl up in a tight spoon without feeling like a baseball bat is knocking at your behind. You know what I'm saying. You turn to ask over your shoulder, "Baby was it good for you", he snores in response. That's what I'm talk'n about, sweetness.

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4 comments:

areyoukiddingme said...

You lost me at 4:40, because all I think then is "I have 5 more minutes..."

Mom O Matic said...

Areyou - Wow, I would weep to get up that early every day.

JC Little said...

I came here looking for innocent pictures of earrings and I find sleep porn. Oh yeah baby!

Mom O Matic said...

JC - Can't complain about porn. Well you can, but that would be no fun. Pics of jewelry to come soon...