Do NOT eat that bowl of candy corn I just counted it!
That better be a milk dud stuck to the ass of your $40 Star Wars costume son.
Should I sew two apricots together to make an ear?
Do not, I repeat do NOT pee in your costume!
I'm questioning whether or not unpopped popcorn feels like teeth....feel my teeth, now the popcorn, now my teeth. You think?
Why did the neighbor sew her kid's Halloween costumes? Because she loves them more, go to bed son!
I'm sure nobody will notice that the dog chewed the tips off of Silvermist's wings. It makes her look badass. Don't say ass. Go to bed lady!
Yes I do think steaming the label off the vodka bottle and putting a "Magic Mommy Brew" sign on it makes it ok for me to drink it all by myself. We're out of lemons, toss a Lemonhead into my glass wouldya?