Ever since I turned (gasp, choke) 39 and husband started fast approaching (why do men age so much better?) 40 - we have noticed that we keep repeating the same shit over and over. So we decided to start writing the aforementioned shit down, thus creating the oldass list.
And after reading the oldass list it was clear to us that the biggest challenges of getting older are - trying to understand why the hell it's happening, and actually remembering that it is happening.
Know How I Know You're An Oldass? Cause You Say This...
Why am I so cold? I don't understand why I'm so cold all the time.
Wait. Did I already tell you this?/Wait. Did I already ask you this?/ Wait. Did you already answer that question?
Why am I so tired? I don't understand why I'm so tired all the time.
Wait. When did that happen again?/Wait. Where were we again?/Wait. Who was that again?
Why do I look so mad all the time? I don't understand why I look so mad all the time.
Why can't I drink caffeine at night anymore? It always makes me pee/stay up all night/get puffy. Why does this happen?
Why is the music so loud? I don't understand why it has to be so loud. I can't hear myself think.
I can't tell how old anyone is anymore. Is she in Junior High or College? I can't tell.
Why are the clothes so small now? Is this really for a grownup?
What? What? I don't know anymore man.
Wait. I'm trying to think. Wait. I'm still thinking. Wait. Wait. What was I thinking about again?
Do I like this? Honey, is this something I like to eat/drink/inhale?
Ugh! How do I not know this? Did you tell me this? Do you know about this?
Why am I freezing? Is it cold in here or is it just me?
Why am I so tired all the time? Wait. Did I already say that?
What was this list about again?