This Is Likely The Kind Of Over Sharing My Therapist Warns Me About

For reasons that have nothing to do with birth'n and babies I was recently asked by my lady doctor to do an ultrasound. And no, I did not need a full bladder thank you mam. Which only means one thing. And if you have ever had an ultrasound in your early pregnancy stages you know what I'm talking about. It's plastic, white, vertical and a little bit scary. I don't know what size your OB used, but I'm pretty sure mine modeled hers after John Holmes.

So I was understandably nervous going into the exam room. Which means only one thing for me...wholly inappropriate laughter is imminent. But when the technician came in and she wielded that ultrasound wiener I fully lost it. Tears down my face, streaming with laughter. Why?

The ultrasound technician? She looked EXACTLY like Jenny TheBloggess. Exactly.

Which made me not only cackle like a mad hen but I'm pretty sure I looked happy too. Because it was Jenny! And I have been wanting to eat vodka snow cones with her again ever since that first blogging conference we met at.

The one, I recalled, where we videotaped ourselves waving around a big, pink dildo.... oh no! At this point the hysterical laughter had given way to that silent, shaky kind of laugh where an occasional snort escapes. In the meantime, the technician is standing there, with a bottle of gel in one hand and the wand in the other and asks, "Did you..did you..just want to put it in yourself then?"

The ultrasound was fine. The technician may never recover.

Oh Canada You Rock Thee

I have made no secret of my deep and abiding love of Canadians. The wry humor. The resonant "soooree" (sorry) warms my cockles. But recently, during the 2010 Winter Olympics, my heart went out to Canada in a way it never has before.

At first it was just the flutters of a crush as I watched the Swiffering events (also known as "Curling"). Two women cleaning that ice as fast as they could so a retro hot water bottle could swoosh along. Magnificent.

But it was the closing ceremonies that made me cry out in admiration. For only Canada, would have a giant, flaming pile of joints to celebrate the end of an athletic phenomena.God Bless you and your Freudian smoking heart Canada.

Switzerland Is Quite Possibly My Least Favorite Country Right Now

As of late I have found myself breaking into tears when I bake a cake or hear the soundtrack from Slumdog Millionaire. They have become Pavlovian triggers to the ache I feel since my friend Gwen moved to Switzerland.

They make me recall sitting in her kitchen and watching her bake while we talked. Her amazing mixture of pragmatic intellect and caring. How she would always cut to the quick. One day I was laying out plans of self improvement, as I often do. She looked me in the eye and asked, "Why do you feel you aren't good enough as you are? You are good enough Lotta." And it floored me how she knew what it was really all about. Not weight loss plans, or becoming organized. But about how I often don't feel like I am enough. Good enough as is.

Sitting with Gwen all day long at a movie festival, watching Slumdog Millionaire together is one of my favorite memories of our friendship. How rare to find a friend that will just sit with you..all day long. Just be present with you. We talked about our lives, and wishes and disappointments in between movies and popcorn. We agreed that it is impossible to find everything you need from your spouse, and how vital it is to have good friends in your life to fill it properly.

And now that she and her family have been living in Europe for awhile it is becoming evident that it isn't a temporary home for them. That more than likely this is where they will spend the duration of their family life, very far away. And my family's reality is that a water park weekend is something we budget for, so traveling abroad isn't likely in my near future.

And it has left me with this achy heart. Because finding friends that you can bare your soul to. That get to know the dark and twisty you and still love you are so very rare. And while Gwen will always be one of my friends closest to my heart. I so very much miss that she isn't close enough to hug and hang out with and simply be near anymore.