Angry Santa

Every year about this time I start rolling through the pages of Etsy and Ebay looking for vintage Christmas decor. And I've found some golden scores, like a cardboard fireplace with flicker flame logs that we'll be setting up this year..swoon.

But I also find some very strange and curious vintage Santas during my hunt. And when people make a listing for Etsy or Ebay they tend to take multiple photos from different angles. So these strange Santa photo shoots end up looking like a storyboard that I can't resist narrating. Like I did for the Stoner Santas, and In Yo Face Santa for example.

Well I found a few more odd Santa's this year and I'm going to roll them out this week for fun. Starting  with...Angry Santa, who I found in the vintage section of Etsy in Nubb's shop.

(click on any image to enlarge)

 

 

The Christmas Hump

Found via the CB2 catalog.

Name That Tune That's Driving Mommy To Drink!

I am woken up every morning by the sweet, soprano and very enthusiastic singing voice of my daughter. She runs through any and every song that has ever entered her tiny consciousness. Favoring Kindergarten counting songs that are the endless equivalent of 99 Bottles of Beer On The Wall. And occasionally throwing in a verse or two from What Do We Do With A Drunken Sailor, lyrics compliments of Grandpa. And she does not stop belting out the music until she lies back on her bed and her eyes instantly click shut like a baby doll's. Exhausted from her job of being the family's primary source of show tunes, commercial jingles and pop songs.

And there are many things about daughter's super loud solo performances that impress me; she sings with a cheerfulness that could put a child beauty pageant star to shame, possesses the ability to fully ignore the twitchy eye tick her endless singing gives mommy and most of all the fact that she can memorize any set of lyrics after hearing them only once. You can not space out and forget she is in the car and then be surprised when inappropriate song lyrics come up at inopportune moments. Like when the dentist asked her if she brushed her teeth every day and she responded by reciting Kesha's Tic Tock lyrics, "Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack. Cause when I leave fo the night I 'aint com'n back!"

When she was potty training we used the kickass combination of the Potty Power DVD and a bag of M&Ms. Worked like a charm because she dug all the songs they used to teach kids how to get their brown in the bowl and would gladly deposit hers in exchange for 2 blue M&Ms. The drawback, other than our subliminally associating M&Ms with crap for her, was that she would sing these potty training songs all the time. Once when waiting in the checkout line at the grocery story she turned around, charmed the person behind us by batting her big blue eyes and then asked them in a growly Joan Jett singing voice, "What do you like to do when you're sitt'n on the potty? Sitt'n on the potty for awhile!"

But as I said, I envy this talent of hers. I can not retain song lyrics to save my life, with the exception of the Green Acres theme song that has somehow been burned into my brain for all eternity. "I get allergic smelling hay!" But most of all I envy the fact that she can sustain the level of happiness necessary to sing songs all day long with unwavering enthusiasm. Not only sustain it, but barely suppress it. She's bubbling with so much happy that unless she gets to sing "I'm proud to be an American!" at the top of her lungs, while playing Barbies in the bathtub, she'll implode.

Singing or laughing, that's my girl.

But between you and me? There is a reason you will most often find my daughter seated at my left side. And it might possibly be that I was rendered partially deaf in that ear as a kid. Because as awesome as she is, there are only so many times I can listen to the "Shave his belly with a rusty razor..earli in the morn'n!" while the Green Acres theme song plays softly in the background of my mind...