A Story: The Match Girl

I was cleaning the playroom the other night when I noticed a box of kitchen matches sitting on the shelf. Matches I had brought down earlier in the day to try and make the joint smell nice because our vacuum broke down mid-suck and emitted this burny smell that I'm pretty sure is exactly what Brimstone smells like. Not wanting the playdate that was coming over to think I was sending the kids into the bowels of Hades I lit up a Glade candle. The playroom then smelled like I was really, really into fabric softener and "did we have a cat?". But still, better. But I forgot the matches in the playroom cause I'm a good parent like that.

Am I making a short story long? Yeah I'm middle aged now so I'm gonna do that.

Back to the matches. I stuck them in the waistband of my pocket less pajama pants so I wouldn't forget them, finished picking up the room and ran upstairs. Then I stood in front of my husband in the kitchen and we paused. Like you do when you are waiting to see if you have something to say to each other or if you should just keep going to the TV/Computer/Fridge. As he was watching me about a 100 wooden match sticks came raining out of the hem of my flannel pants onto the kitchen floor.

Husband: I'm not even going to ask.

Me: It's not wrong.

And we didn't talk about it again. Which is the number one reason our marriage works so well. That and the fact that he still has a really nice ass. The End.

7 comments:

Jayme Amber said...

That is also why my marriage works with my husband. Except mine has literally NO ass. I'm not exaggerating, one cheeks fits in the palm of my hand.

Mom O Matic said...

Jayme - Yes my husband has a metabolism that I have envied for decades. I tell him the only way he'll ever get his hands on a nice tight rear end is if he feels himself up.

areyoukiddingme said...

Isn't that where he keeps his matches?

Jenny said...

So funny! Similar situations are so frequent around here that I don't even see them as odd anymore. And I totally relate on the broken vacuum smell. Usually happens when the belt breaks. Yuck.

*Just Fran* said...

I am thinking that scene demanded a "Come on, Baby; light my fire." comment. :-)

Cali ʚϊɞ said...

*snort* thanks for sharing!!

Mom O Matic said...

:)