We didn't remember how much we bought! Who can keep track of every friend's child, neighbor kid and relative that asked you to buy a box or two of those irresistible treats. So we naively ordered and then bargained with ourselves as the cookies kept coming, and coming.
"I'll just open one box at a time. I'll keep them in the freezer. I'll only have two a day. I will only eat my favorite one and leave the rest for my family. I will respect that a sleeve of cookies is not a serving size."Sure you will sweetheart. Next thing you know we are all popping those frozen, chocolately Thin Mints into our mouths like they're $25 poker chips that we can cash in at the fatass table. We find ourselves lingering at bedtime so we can have some privacy when we tear into that clear plastic sleeve of Tagalongs like a starving grizzly bear. Eating stacks of Trefoils off our bellies while we watch bad cable TV.
There is no resistance. There is no antidote. The only hope we have is to eat our way on through to the other side until they are all gone. And then pray that we are all so bloated and nauseous that the mother fucking little league candy bars we have to sell don't appeal.